Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
How external is "for external use only"?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
