so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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