I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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