How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
