...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
