At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
