drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
