i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
