I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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