Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
