Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
