i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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