hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
