How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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