Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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