A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
