I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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