i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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