apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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