I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
