Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
