you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
