i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
then he tried to convert me to islam
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
