it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Drunk is not a location!
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize
