Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Randomize
