There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
