Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
