his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
