Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
