pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Randomize
