i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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