Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
