i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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