it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Randomize
