Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
