just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
