I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
You work out of a Hotel?
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
