So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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