Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
