Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I'm both gender and math confused
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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