Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
