It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
