no. you can't hotbox the world.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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