woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
