Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
