Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
