Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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