I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I need to sanitize my soul.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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