so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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