YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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